It is something usual, they always judge you by how you have fallen, everyone claims to have seen the signs that you never see or perhaps, to give them some merit, do not want to see, but that’s how it is, everyone sees the signs before you do, so, what for you is a surprise, for them is plain and simple… I already knew it.
But there is something else?
Have you ever wondered if…you already saw it coming, and yet…?
Because it is not a question of second chances, nor of the typical blindness of an organ that acts more by instinct than by certainty or accumulated wisdom.
It is simply that… you have to try it.
I know that sooner rather than later, or perhaps, given the biological raids that are looming over my head, it will be sooner rather than later, I will have to give explanations, and rest assured that in them, there should be few … if I had dared, and instead, I assure you that there will be many more … I had to keep trying.
Never hesitate between trying or assuming an uncertain outcome and not daring, because given the brevity of our passage in this world, staying with the desire is a sure card for remorse and longing, the one that hurts.
And it is not that I do not already accumulate many scars, only the one who takes a risk, cuts himself, breaks a bone, cries in a corner because he/she does not see how incredible we are, walks alone on a beach full of the silence of the waves and the sand crunching under our feet.
But looking back, I remember the caresses, those I received when I smiled at you, the beers that were emerging between the laughter of friends, who never knew how much more I would have wanted them to be, and still be more than happy because I was still with them.
There are silences that I will take with me to the beyond, phrases that even if you already knew them, I never pronounced them to you, because at the end of the day, we both decided that it would be like that.
I have fallen, and not a few times I would add you, from very high even, doing more than hurting me inside me.
I have fallen from so high…that from down there, in a hole so deep that I almost landed with my bones on the other side of the planet, I once saw the sun go around the entire earth.
Songs I whispered to you…
Sighs that I dedicated to you on every occasion I saw you…
Remember, if they tell you that I fell, it’s only because I tried.
And I know that you know it, how can you not know it, if you are the one who knows me best…
I’ll keep falling because I’ll keep on trying.