Back to feeling

Back to feeling

How did this start? because the truth is that I’m listening to the morning report, before starting my shift and here I am waiting to see if you arrive and give me that hug that you promised me yesterday, you, the person who, by far, is stirring my soul, my pulse, my head…

And it arrives, that moment arrives, your arms wrap around my neck, I smell your skin, my God, you smell incredible, and almost almost, I lift you whole, not wanting to separate myself more than a few centimeters from you.

But I have to leave you, there is work to do, and even more, we must avoid as much as possible that I want a meteorite to fall and extinguish life on this planet, because I, after that instant…. believe that I could not find anything better.

Is this normal, you may ask me, at this point, yes, because … why not?

Among all the possible alternatives, there is the one I recently discovered, the one of those people that an enlightened mind has described as «amortals», people to whom age, not only physical, but also the «social» one that is established, does not prevent them from continuing to enjoy the same dreams that, for ever, for as long as one remembers, they feel like, desire, dream even as an indivisible part of themselves to continue being what they are, happy people.

I am happy to be in love, in a platonic, puerile and childish way you would think, maybe even like what she thinks, that everything is part of a word game and a good work shift, that it is pleasant, entertaining, even fun, but that is not the reality.

The reality is that time has made me see how much I need to love someone, even if it is in this way, without a physical consequence, beyond a «simple» hug on their part or even more, a hello on a computer screen or mobile indicating that they are there, perhaps waiting for a banal conversation or perhaps transcendent, but all of them intense for me.

I like to have that tickle when I think of someone, of you, that smile that, inside this mask, arises only when I see her, when I see you, I like to contrast with her a thousand and one different questions, some born of my lived time and hers, all the more intense because they are born of the ideas that she has developed as the vital person that she is.

I like to think, to imagine that in another life, another universe or parallel world, a me and a her, have their chance, that something in him tells him that he found her and perhaps in her tells him that it is him, perhaps the same feeling that I have at this moment, although in this world, in this universe, in this life…you appeared just when I needed you the most, but not when I would have wished it.

I like to be able to say that I feel again.

*** Translated with (free version) ***

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