No rearview mirror

I don’t think I’m the only one who tries to write in the most absolute solitude, in the greatest of silences, in those rare and scarce moments, one believes that the greatest and best ideas will emerge, the incredible phrases that will briefly summarize everything that one longs to tell, to capture on blank pages, and we use all possible resources, we isolate ourselves with headphones, we lock ourselves in rooms, we go to the boondocks to not hear anything …

But it is impossible, it is almost like loneliness, one can be alone, having the next living being more than a thousand kilometers away, when the only thing that counts is if you feel alone, because the rest… is relative.

That’s how I start, I want to be alone, not to see anyone, I want the complicit silence of the letters, when in fact I can not be more wrong, because I need the intervention of the sound of music, the phrase that I overturn in these lines, that which causes me a sudden and fierce desire to write, and that sometimes, I can only sketch in a brief idea on a mobile screen, on a note of paper.

Like today, a simple vision of a car, well, it had four wheels, something like a chassis, and I think there was an engine underneath, of course I could be wrong, since it was going down the road, but let’s give the benefit of life to that thing and call it a car.

You’d think what could have attracted me to it, what peculiarity, what garish color might have caught my attention, what infernal noise might have gestated for someone to turn their eyes.

But no, it was all because it had no rear-view mirrors.

Just like that, I had no rear-view mirrors.

And that’s it, the idea came on, it arose with such force that I didn’t know how the hell to keep such a concept, and sentences and sentences began to emerge, things I wanted to capture, ideas to tell, to be able to tell you everything that arose, with an incredible hurry so that not even a fraction of everything would be forgotten.

Without rear-view mirrors…

Just as we sometimes live, without looking behind us when we want to turn, when we want to give a new direction to our destination, we do not look to see if someone else is coming, to give way if he comes with more haste, with more speed, perhaps that given by the few years of experience …

We live without looking back, without caring sometimes what will happen when we turn, we always march forward, believing that only in this direction is the… the what?

When we start the march of this life, we begin with a full tank, the tires are with all its drawing, with the optimal level of air, the oil and water levels, the filters, the perfect lights, even the tools to repair any small breakdown, are there, in its place stored and in addition, we have the documentation in order.

For a certain time, we walk alone, we go along the road alone, maybe we are accompanied by some other traveler for a while, we march each one in our lane, the highway is multi-lane, there is space to coincide with more adventurers, even with some of them, we coincide in many kms of that stretch that we have decided to follow.

We only see the distant horizon, the sun that sets in the distance, which arises in a cold morning, the moons that sometimes illuminate those magical nights that we always long to repeat, but sometimes, we must change lanes, we should take another road, perhaps a secondary road, we believe that less easily to pick up speed, but on those occasions, few of us realize that we are offered to go to a slower gear and enjoy not only what comes before us, but what arises at our side.

And to take those roads, it is good to look in the rearview mirror, to be sure that there is not another car that has the same idea, that has not been able to reduce the speed enough and we catalog it as one that in the next curve will crash, it will hit the road, not because it is not prepared or does not have the conditions in good condition, but at this point, one already knows that we must moderate our impulses, perhaps even to stop on a shoulder, look at the map that we have proposed to complete and after thinking …. to resume the march, because that is something we have never decided to give up, to have the decision to start always another new road.

The mirror warns us, warns us, warns us that certain decisions may lead to a, let’s call it a stop in our destination, we must know when to use it, so we can resume the march, to continue on our way.

There are those who believe that they are driving a Ferrari, that they can always go at maximum speed, that there is no road they cannot cross, there are those who drive a truck, one of those extra long ones, with an empty container waiting to be able to fill it with the experiences they accumulate along the way, without caring about those who only accumulate stamps issued by the tolls of the borders they pass through.

But all of us, those who accumulate loads and more loads, those of us who are diesel, slow but constant, those who only take 98 gasoline, those who spend 25 liters per km, those who only know how to press their foot against the accelerator, all of them and even more, all of us, at some point, have to look back, we have to use our rearview mirror.

It costs us sometimes, we are in a hurry in a world that tells us that to live is to travel without having known the roads themselves, that accumulating stamps in a notebook is a sign of having lived, there is a hurry, for everything there is a hurry, to be happy, to be loved for more than what you offer instead of for what you are, there is a hurry for almost everything.

My car already has several ITV passed, has needed several patches, even not long ago, was about to go to the scrapyard, luckily the mechanic found a quick solution to the breakdown, so I decided to resume the march again, load the tank, look at the levels, change filters, review my documentation and when I thought everything was in order, look back in the mirror and I joined the road.

I’m still on the road again.

*** Translated with (free version) ***

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