Say it

One of the main reasons, for those of us who need to write on blank pages, a thousand and one thoughts, dreams that we believe impossible at times, experiences that are born of the most intense pain possible, of the most pious lie, of the cruelest truth, and I could even add more, we need it…and yet, sometimes we can not.


Do we draw a blank?


No.


It’s just the overwhelming and heavy burden we’ve taken on in an instant of a billion words and ideas that were struggling to emerge, in the face of any of the possible eventualities, in the life of someone who dares to live it.


And yes, I am one of those people, I am one of those people who have cried watching a hundred romantic movies, I am that someone, there is always someone close to us, especially when we do not want to say that we are ourselves, who stays with the phone half dialed from a number that knows almost by heart, but always leaves the last one without pressing, I am one of those who listen to the same songs as before, but they sound different, as if the lyrics were different, but the only different thing is that now it hurts its sense.


The main danger is that you can feel attracted, get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.


There are those who hide behind a thousand and one fleeting relationships because they are afraid to try and fail….


There will be others who will believe that their time is over, that it is now time to accept what destiny has already accumulated for itself, a certain sense of failure even if they had tried a thousand times more.


What if my destiny is not what I desire?


What if it turns out that I have to be just…a friend…a partner…a good person…?


But I want to love someone!!!!!


I want to tell you I love you, for being the amazing person you are for the way you keep me company…..
I want to whisper in your ear…I love you…because you fill, in a single instant, a day of chaos and despair.
I want to tell you I love you, walking, holding hands maybe, having a coffee in the morning, me reading, you watching who knows what on TV, looking up, smiling at me and just saying it.


And instead…


Well, time, that magnitude that we insist on controlling, even dominating, poor us for believing so, is in charge of, let’s say to put us in our place, to make us see that what hurt us so much, as if we had something nailed, now only hurts in a less cruel way, maybe later, it will only hurt, maybe we will forget it…noooo!!!, we know that this could never happen, because then….


Maybe I won’t be able to say I love you again in the same way I would have liked to keep saying it to you, but I have committed to myself, to keep on loving, on a day like today, I have stopped walking at the witching hour, to cry for silences that hurt less than the words that were said, on a day like today, I have decided to keep on loving.


And the one of now, this I love you….


Is for you.

*** Translated with http://www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version) ***

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