El Hierro III

When, after having read my last entry about my stay in what, now I can say it, is my island, El Hierro, you asked me if I had really started swimming, if I really believed that I could not make it back to the shore… I only remember asking you if you thought I was capable of such madness.

Maybe I should have told you about all this time of madness, a time in which I had hardly anyone to unburden all that I was accumulating, not even my two favorite appendages, those two that complement, yes, that is the right and appropriate word, they complement my soul, in one of them I see reflected the thousand and one experiences lived, in the other is the same impetus and madness that invaded me when I was younger, and in which I regret not being able to tell her and warn her of what could arise, all because I already lived it, perhaps because I believe that she has to, to be learning, she has to experience it.

Yes, I threw myself into the water, with no other desire than to drown all the rage I had accumulated…maybe I did not go a long distance, I told you that I did not lose sight of the outline of the island or any of that, but I swam until I could not go any further, until I stopped and there, right there I began to cry, I began to remember the why, the how, and even more important, I began to recover the why not, so I came back, the rest you have already read.
What I didn’t tell you was that someone was around, an old fisherman already retired, who I will take the name Ernesto to refer to him, and that in the following days he taught me so much about an island full of corners, but that will be another time.

Because now I want to tell you about my arrival at the hotel, with needles of pain even in the most recondite muscle that you could imagine, yes, even in that one that you would never name, even there I had pain.
So you see me, having something to drink and going out to that terrace that chance has lavished me with the fortune of having chosen these apartments, and I see that the sun begins to set, so I make myself comfortable and watch how the participants of the most incredible and tragic love story play hide and seek, the sun and the moon, condemned to never see each other and always looking for each other at every sunrise and sunset.

Okay, I know, there are eclipses of the moon and all that, but you can’t deny that it sounds romantic!

Anyway, there I am, still nervous about my last madness, still full of that adrenaline poured during that afternoon, and there I am, looking at a sky full of lights like I haven’t remembered for a long time… and the silence that surrounded me.

I thought of you, that maybe you were looking at that same portion of sky at that very moment…
I remembered instants lived, some of them already far away in time, others closer in closed nights…
I felt again the fear of moments that I thought I had lost in my memory…
I thought of you, that maybe you were looking at that same portion of the sky at that very moment…
I smiled at the darkness for making me see how marvelous the sunlight was…
I remembered faces, gestures, kisses even, caresses that… I dreamed of what could be… I remembered again how to get up when one falls… and in the meantime…
I thought of you, that maybe you were looking at that same piece of sky at that very moment…

*** Translated with http://www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version) ***

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